The Dark Side of Forever: When Marriage Becomes a Trap

Marriages today are facing significant challenges, with many relationships ending in divorce within a short span of time—some within 2-5 months, others after 1-2 years, and some even after decades of being together, such as 10-15 years or even 30 years. This trend can be attributed to the wrong practices and societal norms that have been imposed on individuals since childhood, often without any logical or meaningful basis, or adopted unconsciously over time. Many people enter into marriage without truly understanding its essence, purpose, or the right time to commit to such a lifelong partnership. Even those who are educated may fail to apply critical thinking to their decisions, rendering them no different from the uneducated—a phenomenon that can be described as “educated illiteracy.”

This lack of understanding and purpose in marriage often leads to severe consequences. Some individuals resort to extreme measures like attempting suicide due to marital conflicts, while others engage in extramarital affairs as a way to cope with dissatisfaction or emptiness in their relationships. These outcomes frequently stem from the absence of a clear or meaningful reason for getting married.

This is my philosophy, this is my perspective. Everyone’s can be different. Everyone’s thoughts are different, everyone’s palm lines are different, so everyone’s perspective will also be different.

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Table Of Content

1. What is the true meaning of Marriage, and what have we learned about it from this world and our family?

2. The truth behind arranged Marriages: Love expected, But why are they really getting married?

3. And if we have to get married, should it be a love marriage or an arranged marriage?

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What is the true meaning of Marriage, and what have we learned about it from this world and our family?

Here, I see marriage as something to be considered later, and even before that, there is a word called “relation,” which is the origin of the word “relate.” How is you relate with yourself, with money, and similarly with others? When you start fully relating to someone, it is called a “relation.” Most people don’t even know the true meaning of this word. Everyone is just chasing behind the word “marriage,” which is merely a name given by this world as proof that you now belong to each other. In my view, “relation” is first thing and most important than “marriage.”

You have given the name “marriage” to a social tradition where a boy and a girl come together, take seven rounds, and then start living together. If they have followed all religious rituals and are living together in a valid, lawful manner, you call it marriage. According to you, this is the definition of marriage—what you have learned from your parents and society—that if a man and woman are living together while following social and religious rules, you consider them married.

The truth behind arranged Marriages: Love expected, But why are they really getting married?

Do only what leads you toward freedom, toward light. Whether you marry or not in between is your decision—do it only if it brings you towards of growth. The measure of doing or not doing anything is this: Does it lead to liberation if you’re in bound? To joy if you’re in pain? To clarity if you’re in illusion? This is the aim of life—it’s a simple truth. There’s no argument against it.

Meaning is very important in life; nothing else is as crucial. If one finds work that gives their life purpose, that’s excellent but 99 out of 100 people don’t have any higher goal they are living for—in such cases, they should get married. If they don’t, they will create a lot of unrest within themselves. They will always carry this regret, this dissatisfaction, thinking, ‘The rest of the world has achieved something special, but we were left behind.’ There are many people who did not marry and later deeply regretted it—these are the ones who had nothing significant to do in life. On the other hand, there are also many who never married yet lived lives a thousand times better than those tied to marriage and family. They are contributing to the world—these are the people who have so much to do, enjoying every moment, adding value to their own lives and the lives of others.

The truth behind arranged Marriages: Love expected, But why are they really getting married?

Anyone who gets into an marriage today isn’t doing it for love —yet they still expect love in return. Some marry for dowry, some for boy or girl with government job, some for fear of their parents, some to continue their lineage, some to take care of their parents, some for household help, some for money, some for according their job and some just for sex. this is the actual reality of this generation and no one else has the courage to accept it either, which is why they keep complaining their whole lives, nurture diseases, and commit disgusting acts like extra-marital affairs.

Heart or family’s choice? Decoding love marriage & arranged marriage.

If we talk about the 21st century, the only difference between love marriage and arranged marriage is that in love marriage, people marry after seeing the “heart” (emotions), and in arranged marriage, they marry after seeing the “body or face” (appearance). The truth might sound harsh, but it is what it is. I’m not saying that other things don’t matter—other things are also important to consider. But first, it’s essential to look at a person’s heart (intentions) or mindset.

Tell me that how can you claim to know someone’s heart after just 2 or 3 meetings? Let me tell you the truth—you can never fully understand another person. It takes years just to know them halfway. And yet, what kind of ‘love’ are you even talking about? You look at their face, their body, then after a few days, their house—and suddenly declare you’re marrying for love? Who are you trying to fool? People are not ready to understand love, but they are very eager to marry in the name of love.

The dangerous myth of the ‘Right Age’ to Marry—Are you really ready?

Don’t marry in recklessness. Don’t wed just to ruin each other’s lives. There’s no ‘right age’ for marriage—24, 25, 27, 28… What magic happens at these ages that you’ll suddenly choose a life partner correctly? You don’t even know how to pick the right friends. You can’t evaluate a job properly. You don’t understand the meaning of health. You’ve never learned what true relationship. Your life has no purpose—so how will you choose the right husband or wife? You made the decision of marriage from the lowest level of your consciousness. When your awareness itself is so underdeveloped, how can your decision possibly be good? All your mistakes, all your decisions—they were made in ignorance, yet you’re in such a hurry!

I’m only saying this—first raise the level of your consciousness, then marry. Do it with joy, with understanding.

Heart or family’s choice? Decoding love marriage & arranged marriage.

It’s a very strange and abnormal thing, yet it seems normal to you only because everyone else is doing it. Just for that reason, you accept it as normal. My friend, you can’t make deep friendships so easily. Even if you do manage to form one, friends often leave after six months, a year, or two years. So how can you bind yourself to someone for an entire lifetime? Tell me—what do you really know? What do you truly understand?

Heart or family’s choice? Decoding love marriage & arranged marriage.

In a hostel, there is a shared room where, even after staying for a day or two, you are given the option to decide whether you want to continue staying with the same person or not. Although the sharing room is very small, it has a partition to maintain some privacy. It’s just a matter of 2-4 years, yet there is so much strictness about who you share the room with—who you are going to live with.

Now, if in your life, a stranger comes and you are being told that this person will stay with you for the rest of your life, sleep in your bed, and merge into your body to sleep—would you be crazy, or am I crazy? I can’t even tolerate this thought in my imagination.

Heart or family’s choice? Decoding love marriage & arranged marriage.

Stand tall in your truth. Stay real – I guarantee we won’t break this bond from my side. But if you choose the path of dishonesty, be warned: I can punish. I can speak hard truths. I can do what needs to be done. Yet I give you this absolute assurance – I will never abandon you. This, to me, is the foundation of a healthy relationship: If you make a commitment, have the courage to honor it.

Remember Marriage is not important, but being happy is more important. Some people are unhappy even after getting married, while some people remain happy even while staying single.

– Rishank Bansod

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Love is such a strange thing. We all think that the meaning of love is to find the right person. But perhaps the true meaning of love is to become the right person yourself. Instead of searching for someone with whom you want to spend your entire life, become someone like that yourself.

Do you enjoy your own company?

true love begins with loving yourself first. Because until your own heart is full, you cannot give love to others.

Do we really need to get Married, or are we just following unknown things?

I am not against marriage at all, but i am asking why do it? give me one solid reason. what is the need to get married? At least that should be clear. Just because everyone is doing it, so should we? That’s not a valid reason.

Here are the some silli responses I received when I asked people about this question, and none of them gave me a satisfactory answer. I’m sharing the answers I got from people with you:

1. Everyone has to get married.
2. It’s just the rule of the world.
3. If you don’t get married, will you stay single your whole life?
4. Everyone is doing it, so I’m doing it too.
5. If you don’t get married, how will the family grow?
6. My family told me to get married.

These answers don’t seem to address the deeper question of why marriage is necessary, rather than just following societal or familial expectations.

The question of who got married first and when it happened has different interpretations according to various religions and beliefs. However, this is not a universal truth, unlike scientific facts such as the Earth revolving around the Sun every day or the force of gravity keeping us grounded on this planet.

Yet, somewhere, somehow, the concept of marriage must have begun, because marriage is neither a part of birth nor death. Whoever performed the first marriage must have done so for a purpose, and that purpose could vary from person to person today. At the time when someone got married for the first time, they would have done so for their own reasons, based on their own experiences and perceptions about marriage.

And if we have to get married, should it be a love marriage or an arranged marriage?

Absolutely! The one who understands or realizes why they should get married—only they should get married. This is because the question here is not just about one’s own life but also about understanding the life of the other person, which is extremely important.

Because everything else comes later; first and foremost, it is the relationship between those two individuals that truly matters. Many people don’t even know this, and even if they do, they often don’t want to understand it.

I have seen many people getting married and then, a few years later, filing for divorce for very trivial reasons. For example, because of family issues, or because they couldn’t have children, some people become unhappy. They blame each other, spend years seeking treatment, and not just that—they end up getting divorced. Some even remarry after their first marriage, and some, even after marriage, form relationships with others.

Having a child or not should never be the top priority. If this small thing is understood, the chances of cracks appearing in the marriage will reduce significantly. This is because, first and foremost, the person with whom you have to spend your entire life is the most important.

I don’t believe in arranged marriages now. You can see for yourself in your own family—how many arranged marriages are truly working well? Except for a few, most are either struggling or surviving out of compulsion.

There’s a huge difference between living with someone out of compulsion and living with someone out of your own choice. Many people are living in such compulsion—they think, “Since we’ve gotten married, there’s no other way now; we have to stay together.” People have turned marriage into a joke. Remember, I will explain my thoughts deeply, so listen carefully.

Marriage should be about love, understanding, and mutual respect, not just about societal pressure or family expectations. Living with someone out of compression and living with someone out of genuine desire are worlds apart. Many people are stuck in marriages where they are merely tolerating each other, and that’s not how it should be. Marriage is a sacred bond, and it should be entered into with clarity, understanding, and willingness—not out of obligation.